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User talk:Julian.Rohweder
EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:15, October 10, 2017 (UTC) Re: Story "I also dont think some "admin" should be going around and deleting people hard work before taking to them." I'm sorry, but I don't think someone should be given preferential treatment when this wiki hosts a number of writers who were willing to spend the time proof-reading and writing their stories. If this is the product of a few hours of work, I would strongly suggest spending more time on it. This wiki has a writer's workshop so you can improve your writing and get help with your English. Not being a native English speaker is in no way an excuse for posting a story with this many issues. Punctuation: All of your dialogue is missing quotations. "Mr. Lark sees Matthew, Matthew explain yourself! Why are you in my classroom after hours! I'm…. I'm not sure, what is this drawing? Mr. Lark grabs Matthew by the neck. He starts dragging him to the school basement.") and you forget to use commas ("Hey Matthew(comma missing) I need you to come see me after class.") and apostrophes properly ("he gets the sudden feeling to peak inside of his teacher Mr. Larks classroom.", "Matthew can not see the drawing from where he is so he opens the door to Mr. Larks classroom and sees the large drawing", "He hears the tapping of Mr. Larks shoes on the hallway as he walks into the room.", etc. Capitalization: you fail to properly capitalize a number of sentences "2 hours later Matthew heads to his writing class he enters the room." Awkward wording: "He suddenly receives a feeling of death inside his stomach.", "Matthew is not the best and writing.", "Matthew can not see the drawing from where he is so he opens the door to Mr. Larks classroom and sees the large drawing", etc.), and story issues. Story issues: First off, why exactly does a teacher think that drawing a massive pentagram in the middle of his classroom at 5 P.M. would be a covert thing? ("Mr. Lark sees Matthew, Matthew explain yourself! Why are you in my classroom after hours! I'm…. I'm not sure, what is this drawing?") Why exactly is he even drawing that pentagram upstairs if they already have one downstairs that they're worshipping at. The idea that teachers could fake a suicide to the point that even the police would disregard it is really difficult to believe ("The teachers quickly drafted a suicide note so believable the police thought nothing of it.") Even so, a child randomly committing suicide in school is still going to be looked into and given the teachers' habit of drawing pentagrams everywhere and holding black masses seems like it'd reveal them pretty quickly. I'm sorry, but these were a few of the issues on it. I would suggest using the writer's workshop as the next story you post with this many errors will be deleted for failing to meet our quality standards. Given that there are hundreds of authors on this site who are willing to spend the time on their stories, I would hope you would be too. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:18, October 11, 2017 (UTC)